


just be the sunshine you need to be

by xenten



Category: JO1, Produce 101 (TV), Produce 101 Japan
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21919225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenten/pseuds/xenten
Summary: Behind the scenes of Yancha Boy Yancha Girl practice.
Relationships: Ohira Shosei & Imanishi Masahiko
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	just be the sunshine you need to be

Shosei slumped in the corner of the practice room, CCTV cameras watching every sharp intake of breath, watching how his back slid against the wall as he hugged his knees, hoping for the dark, sinking feeling in his chest go away.

_Shosei-kun, don't be sad, okay? We honestly wanted to have you in our team but..._

_You'd fit a better concept than ours-_

_I voted Shosei off because-_

-they didn't want him. Of course, they didn't want him. What made him so hopeful about actually being a first pick? He's just a crybaby, after all, a crybaby who does nothing but chase after Ren's shadow, a crybaby who wants to be an idol who stands on stage with confidence, an idol who can touch the hearts of others with his performance, but how can he even step one foot on the stage when he can't even sing? No wonder he got booted from Domino. No wonder he got booted by another team, and no wonder his ranking went down every episode that flew by.

Shosei stifles a sob, curling deeper into the deep, deep hole that is his mind, chest aching with doubt and destructive thoughts like barbed wire pulling his heart into a bitter embrace. Droplets of tears fall onto his lyric sheet (four lines of singing he didn't deserve,) covering old marks with the new.

During that day, that god awful day, where he, Keigo and Syoya were kicked out of Domino team, he tried his best to stay strong, he really did. Even when Keigo, strong Keigo started spilling tears, he tried to not let his own fall. He smiled a bitter smile as it was Keigo and Syoya who were given the white shirts of Kunchikita, he tried his best to smile as Jun pulled him into a hug to say sorry even if he has nothing to be sorry of because who would even want someone like him on his team? Someone who can't even sing a line, someone who will end up just bringing the team down and-

_"Sho-chan?"_

Shosei broke off from the wall he’s curled up in with a gasp, hands clenching the now wrinkled lyric sheet that he'd been crying into deeper into his chest.

Shosei let out a hiccup, _"H-hico-kun..."_

_How lame, Shosei. Tears are for the battered, smile like the sunshine you're supposed to be._

Shosei sniffled, bringing his hands up to hurriedly wipe at his leaking eyes, a poor attempt at trying to recover his puffy and swollen face.

"Hico-kun! What are you doing here?" Shosei tried to beam with the brightest smile he could muster, only to see Masahiko falter in his steps.

Hesitantly, Masahiko took his place next to Shosei and, trying to light up the atmosphere, he pouted, "Looking for you, dummy! Sho-chan said he was going to the bathroom and didn't come back, and and, I-"

“Hey, hey, you dork,” Shosei wobbly smirked, “I bet it was probably because you got lost trying to find Takumi again wasn’t it?”

“Sho-channn, you’re so meannnn! You know that was just because he and Ren tried to hide my- well, that’s beside the point.” 

Masahiko coughed out an “ahem” as he squirmed in his spot on the floor, rotating his body to finally face Shosei.

“Look, Sho-chan, you know exactly why I’m here.”

Ah.

What made him think he could fool precious Hico into thinking he was fine, when he knew it was Hico who could understand best?

"You got me," Shosei sighed in defeat, "actually, I don't actually know. Why are you here?"

"Sho-chan! Stop playing around!"

Shosei let out a laugh as Hico pushed at his shoulder, nearly knocking him into the ground.

"I know that you've been trying really hard during practice, you staying overtime and practicing into the early hours of the morning and still smiling but-"

The door to the practice room suddenly swings open, and the two whip their heads to glance at the newcomer.

"We know you've been hiding just how painful it was, baka." Koushin grinned as he jumps over to the two's spot on the wall, eventually squatting and curling up right underneath the crook of Shosei's neck, "Hico, you realllly weren't subtle about your plans of joining Shosei for, _ehem_ , really early practice, but you guys didn't say that we were going to have Soft Hours! Heart to heart talk!"

"Yeah well, it's not like I have to tell you _everything_."

"Guys-"

"Good thing I brought the whole gang along with me then!" Koushin yelped, grin spreading even wider on his face, "c'mon in boys!"

_"SHOSEI PROTECTION SQUAD ASSEMBLE!"_

Shosei's jaw slowly dropped as Yugo, Reito, Ryuji and Sho flung into the room, the shrieks being let out by the four being almost incomparable to those of dolphins.

He watched as the four slowly but surely made their way to their little corner, eventually forming a cuddle pile around him.

"SHO-CHAN YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO US!"

"YEAH, WE LOVE YOU MAN!"

Sho let out a soft smile, "Shosei-kun is very very strong for being able to deal with all the pressure and stress of being in a new team, especially after, well-"

_"-AFTER THE MEANIES KICKED YOU OUT!"_

Shosei closed his eyes and let out a sigh, "Reito they're not meanies-"

"-what Reito said. It's hard. Not only the fact that you have to learn a whole new song from scratch, but the fact that you also have to deal with being let go by your friends."

Shosei simply tilted his head to the ceiling, hands carding through Koushin's hair.

"Yeah. It's really hard. It's a blow to the self esteem you know? It's."

A blow to the loose strand on his face and a tighter grasp on his companions.

"It makes you feel like you're not good enough. Well, me placing last and being kicked out twice definitely means I wasn't good enough."

The room erupted into protests, some of the guys rising to their feet to go punch and kick at the walls, while Koushin and Hico simply groan as they burrow deeper into Shosei's chest. It was rather comfortable after all.

Shosei is simply amused by all of this.

Reito threw a punch, "DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT BISH!"

"YEAH, it just means they have-" Ryuji then punched the wall, "no _TASTE_!"

"REITO, RYUJI DO NOT PUNCH THE WALL AND- OH MY GOD YUGO DO NOT THROW THE CHAIR INTO THE MIRROR I REPEAT, YUGO DO NOT!" Sho yelled as he ran over to Yugo attempting to throw the chair at the mirror, grabbing the smaller-by-not-much man by the collar and dragging him back to the Cuddle Corner. Reito simply sulks from behind them.  
  


"They do have a point, Sho-chan," Hico said, "it's not that you're not good enough for them, it's just that..."

Hico soft smiled and swung his leg over Shosei's, nearly knocking into Reito's head. He raises his arms in a grand gesture.

"It's just that you were destined to be Yancha!"

_"YEAH!"_

_"ONE OF US, ONE OF US, ONE OF US-"_

_"REITO CALM!"_

Shosei sat back into his corner as everyone started talking over each other, feeling more satisfied than he has in a long time. The tight feeling around his chest is still there, the dark thoughts not exactly fading away, but...

...maybe with these guys by his side, then maybe everything can just be a little bit better.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this during the show and decided to post if after crying over yancha team at 3am i hope you like :DD


End file.
